I'm somewhere between angry and shocked. You know that hazy feeling that you get when you hear or see something so hard to believe, yet so awful on the same note? That's just happened.
My husband is busy packing up the garage for our move across country-- in 3 weeks! He is a fan of the comedy channels on satellite radio, and usually listens to "clean" comedy or at the most, the Blue Collar Comedy station.
Tonight he was listening to Bill Engvall, who happened to be on a different channel, and when the set ended there was a commercial that he honestly couldn't believe. He actually thought is was "a joke". Like those SNL commercials that they have that are so ridiculous.
This was no joke.
The commercial advertised Ashley Madison dot com. An online dating site for people who are already in a relationship. Their motto being, "Have an affair, you only live once."
He called me outside and told me about what he had just heard advertised. I had to go in and google Ashley Madison. It's REAL. This company actually exists to facilitate affairs between consenting (mostly married) adults. Their logo even has what appears to be a wedding ring as the "o" in the word Madison. The landing page of the site shows a blurry yet fully visible view of two adults behind a hotel room door...engaging in more than just talking.
Further googling turned up the story that Ashley Madison tried to buy air time during the upcoming Super Bowl, and (thankfully) was denied. They, not so surprisingly, also chose to use a well known (well known to some I suppose) Adult movie actress to star in the spot.
This is no joke. These are the times in which we live.
I have so much to say, and yet... I am speechless.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Women and Pantyhose
Am I the only female in the 35-50 age demographic that actually misses pantyhose? I know that there are many women who have voiced their exuberance at the fact that pantyhose are a thing of the past-- or now worn only by our mothers. But, I'm here to tell you, I miss them!
I was in my brother's wedding last year, and felt almost not fully dressed without my nylons. Of course I am part of that select group who used to enjoy wearing Leggs, back in the 80's. Remember the egg?
Any woman who tells you that she enjoys the freedom of not having to fight with control tops is either lying to you or too thin and perfect to keep as a girlfriend! Because I'm telling you, every woman--at least every woman I know--wears Spanx! If not the name brand, then a knock-off product that serves the same function: Illusion.
Women have always loved using our gifts of illusion, right? Make-up, haircolor, eyelashes, high heels, painted nails... There is no illusion in naked legs. It's just real.
Now for my sisters who have a dewy or golden skin tone, I can understand why you wouldn't mind baring your legs. But for those of us cursed with the English pale white skin-- it's not attractive. Oh no, please don't tell me to use one of those self-tanners. Orange fake-bake is even worse than pale white. Especially the streaky-orange of the back leg that is too hard to reach or the brownish- dry skin enhancing discoloration that occurs on the ankle or knee areas.
Pretty?-- No! Pretty ugly.
So tell me, please, whose idea was it to do away with pantyhose? Some beautiful Brazilian bombshell? An Italian beauty with her glorious olive complexion? An African-American knock out? It sure wasn't a girl whose ancestry came from North Western Europe. Oh gee, I'm not referring to YOU, you Scandinavian goddesses! I'm talking about my English, Irish, and Scottish girlfriends. Power to the freckle, and the big-hat at-the-beach-wearing sisterhood! You understand me, right?
I find it funny that someone along the way decided to try an appease us. They have made high end panty hose that have the toes cut out, so we can (wink, wink) fool everyone when we wear our open strappy sandals! Awesome idea!
Now all I have to do is get a tan on my toes!
I was in my brother's wedding last year, and felt almost not fully dressed without my nylons. Of course I am part of that select group who used to enjoy wearing Leggs, back in the 80's. Remember the egg?
Any woman who tells you that she enjoys the freedom of not having to fight with control tops is either lying to you or too thin and perfect to keep as a girlfriend! Because I'm telling you, every woman--at least every woman I know--wears Spanx! If not the name brand, then a knock-off product that serves the same function: Illusion.
Women have always loved using our gifts of illusion, right? Make-up, haircolor, eyelashes, high heels, painted nails... There is no illusion in naked legs. It's just real.
Now for my sisters who have a dewy or golden skin tone, I can understand why you wouldn't mind baring your legs. But for those of us cursed with the English pale white skin-- it's not attractive. Oh no, please don't tell me to use one of those self-tanners. Orange fake-bake is even worse than pale white. Especially the streaky-orange of the back leg that is too hard to reach or the brownish- dry skin enhancing discoloration that occurs on the ankle or knee areas.
Pretty?-- No! Pretty ugly.
So tell me, please, whose idea was it to do away with pantyhose? Some beautiful Brazilian bombshell? An Italian beauty with her glorious olive complexion? An African-American knock out? It sure wasn't a girl whose ancestry came from North Western Europe. Oh gee, I'm not referring to YOU, you Scandinavian goddesses! I'm talking about my English, Irish, and Scottish girlfriends. Power to the freckle, and the big-hat at-the-beach-wearing sisterhood! You understand me, right?
I find it funny that someone along the way decided to try an appease us. They have made high end panty hose that have the toes cut out, so we can (wink, wink) fool everyone when we wear our open strappy sandals! Awesome idea!
Now all I have to do is get a tan on my toes!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Am I Christian--enough?
I should be packing. There is just too much to do,and I shouldn't be sitting here writing.
But here I am. Because what better place is there to vent about doubts than a personal blog?
Being from California, I have spent the better part of my life feeling like I didn't fit in. I am a short, not-skinny, fair skinned, nice, brunette. Living in the land of perpetual sunshine, tans and bikinis, I sort of always felt like the odd ball.
My high school years were spent trying to find my footing in a sub-culture that embraced habitual dating, recreational pot-smoking, and pretty much everything else glorified in the 1980's iconic movie, "Fast Times at Ridgemont High". Stuff that I didn't embrace.
I was a church geek. I loved my church's youth group, and the parish drama team. Our priest came to our house for family dinners and birthday parties. I read the Bible, loved Jesus and wanted to go on mission--one day.
I dreamed of being a nurse and traveling to Africa to help people. The missions part didn't happen... there was this cute guy that I met, and I opted to stay at home. Isn't there always "that guy"?
With all this said, I've been blessed with many great friends! But I just danced to a different beat!
Fast forward to present day. I have (sort of) found my footing. My worldview is what shapes the woman I am. I love teaching my children about having a relationship with God; about finding out who it is God has created them to be, and about following their dreams.
Now we are moving to Nashville. The buckle of the Bible Belt! -- And after all this time I am left wondering if I will fit in. Becoming comfortable in my own shoes means that while I love Jesus with all my heart, I can not pretend to be somebody I'm not.
But...am I Christian enough?
I like having a glass of wine or even a margarita! We "do" the whole Santa Claus, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy-thing. We decorate our house with jack-o-lanterns and dress up in costume on Halloween--sometimes even scary costumes. I have been known to occasionally use the words: crap and frickin'. I listen to as much secular music as I do Christian music. My kids have been in karate for years. I love adult situational comedies like, The Family Guy. I teach my children about creation but also teach them that there are people who believe in something called "evolution", and I teach them what it is. I teach my children about Greek Mythology and we do great reports about the gods that this society worshipped, the whole time intertwining great pieces of literature and art work (sometimes naked subjects) into this study.
This is who I am. And I like her.
Working in the niche of Christian media, I hear all kinds of things from my target audience that constantly make me wonder, do I even fit into this industry?
The real ADULT question is this... who am I, in Christ? I am Lisa. I am a child of God. I gave my life to Jesus when I was about 16 years old. I am confident in my relationship with Him. And, if you want a real friend, who respects your boundaries but who also asks that you respect hers...I'm here!
Nashville, here I come-- ready or not!
But here I am. Because what better place is there to vent about doubts than a personal blog?
Being from California, I have spent the better part of my life feeling like I didn't fit in. I am a short, not-skinny, fair skinned, nice, brunette. Living in the land of perpetual sunshine, tans and bikinis, I sort of always felt like the odd ball.
My high school years were spent trying to find my footing in a sub-culture that embraced habitual dating, recreational pot-smoking, and pretty much everything else glorified in the 1980's iconic movie, "Fast Times at Ridgemont High". Stuff that I didn't embrace.
I was a church geek. I loved my church's youth group, and the parish drama team. Our priest came to our house for family dinners and birthday parties. I read the Bible, loved Jesus and wanted to go on mission--one day.
I dreamed of being a nurse and traveling to Africa to help people. The missions part didn't happen... there was this cute guy that I met, and I opted to stay at home. Isn't there always "that guy"?
With all this said, I've been blessed with many great friends! But I just danced to a different beat!
Fast forward to present day. I have (sort of) found my footing. My worldview is what shapes the woman I am. I love teaching my children about having a relationship with God; about finding out who it is God has created them to be, and about following their dreams.
Now we are moving to Nashville. The buckle of the Bible Belt! -- And after all this time I am left wondering if I will fit in. Becoming comfortable in my own shoes means that while I love Jesus with all my heart, I can not pretend to be somebody I'm not.
But...am I Christian enough?
I like having a glass of wine or even a margarita! We "do" the whole Santa Claus, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy-thing. We decorate our house with jack-o-lanterns and dress up in costume on Halloween--sometimes even scary costumes. I have been known to occasionally use the words: crap and frickin'. I listen to as much secular music as I do Christian music. My kids have been in karate for years. I love adult situational comedies like, The Family Guy. I teach my children about creation but also teach them that there are people who believe in something called "evolution", and I teach them what it is. I teach my children about Greek Mythology and we do great reports about the gods that this society worshipped, the whole time intertwining great pieces of literature and art work (sometimes naked subjects) into this study.
This is who I am. And I like her.
Working in the niche of Christian media, I hear all kinds of things from my target audience that constantly make me wonder, do I even fit into this industry?
The real ADULT question is this... who am I, in Christ? I am Lisa. I am a child of God. I gave my life to Jesus when I was about 16 years old. I am confident in my relationship with Him. And, if you want a real friend, who respects your boundaries but who also asks that you respect hers...I'm here!
Nashville, here I come-- ready or not!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
This was just too funny NOT to share!
The 11 Step Program for All Those Interested in Becoming Parents:
Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.
Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.
Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Jesus is the Reason!
The source of Christmas joy;
A star shown on a miracle:
The virgin birth of a boy.
A Savior for us all,
The way to get to our heavenly home,
If we just heed His call.
And enjoy the Christmas season,
Let's keep in mind the sacred truth:
Jesus is the reason.
Monday, December 20, 2010
The Twelve Days of Christmas-- A Truer Meaning
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Thursday, December 9, 2010
VeggieTales' It's A Meaningful Life --New Release!
**Today I'm offering a FREE combo DVD set to one lucky reader, just in time for Christmas!! It will have VeggieTales' St. Nicholas AND It's a Meaningful Life! To enter to win this set, simply comment after this post and tell me what you love about VeggieTales'! (Winner will be chosen randomly).**
What if my life had taken a different direction? What if I had made different choices? Where would I be, today? Happier? More fulfilled? Would my life have had a clearer meaning or more purpose?
I admit this is a strange way to begin a movie review. Especially since I’m reviewing the newest VeggieTales’ episode, IT’S A MEANINGFUL LIFE. But when you sit with your kids and watch this particular Christmas-themed episode, you’ll understand exactly what I’m talking about. It’s a pre-school show that just might get the moms and dads thinking along the lines of, What if?... And then, using God’s Word, perhaps answer those very soul-searching questions.
Now, on with the show!
It’s a Meaningful Life, starts sometime in the past. Stewart (Larry the Cucumber) aka: The Green Machine, was playing the biggest football game of his life! His whole future was riding on his performance in last the few seconds of this game! But, instead of leaving the field as a hero, he left the field injured. Someone else, by pure coincidence, became the hero that day. That one moment in time changed Stewart’s life-plan, forever!
Move ahead to present day; Stewart is married to the lovely Donna (Petunia Rhubarb). They have been blessed with a beautiful family and live in a modest home located in the same town in which they grew up, Rockwell. Stewart, who once dreamed of leaving Rockwell, for his own fame and fortune, has instead settled into this life and taken over his father’s toy train manufacturing business.
While Stewart’s life seems happy enough, there is a piece of his heart that lacks true contentment. One of the most poignant moments in the movie, is the prayer that Stewart prays, as he feels his life no longer has meaning. “God, why did I end up like this...I was going to do something... special...instead I’ve ruined everything...”
He literally embarks on an incredible journey, hopping on the “What If Express”, which enables him to see a glimpse of what his life would be like IF that football game had ended the way he had always hoped.
Stewart learns that his life is part of God’s plan, and his life has greatly impacted the lives of so many others!Especially his own wife and children! He learns that God’s plan for our lives is truly the perfect plan...and that our lives are, indeed, meaningful when we follow that plan.
Finally, he learns contentment.
“I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. They are plans for good and not disaster; plans to give you a future filled with hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
Maybe it’s my age. Hmmm...where DID my 30’s go, anyway? Maybe it’s the fact that I have asked those very same “What if”questions a lot more frequently over the last few years. Whatever it is, I highly recommend this episode for the entire family!! This is one DVD that you’re definitely going to want to enjoy with the kids!
VeggieTales', It’s a Meaningful Life is such a well made, well written and beautifully produced show. Yeah, I’m a fan, and you probably wouldn’t expect me to say anything too negative-- but I was truly blessed by the theme in this particular story! Director, Brian Roberts, did a fab job in the driver's seat of this episode!
The music in this show is great! Kudos once again to Kurt Heineke for the score, and Mike Nawrocki and Mark Steele who once again knocked it out of the park with their great lyrics! Oh, and Moms, you’re going to crack up at the Silly Song, Goodnight Junior. Although, my personal favorite is the song, Precious Girl. Losing my dad last year, this song brought me back to the times when I was a little girl and relied on my own dad to make whatever problem I was dealing with, go away. There's just a special bond between little girls and their daddy's. Great song!
Once again, the people at Big Idea have joined forces with one of Christian entertainment’s top names! This time, Steven Curtis Chapman. His beautifully written song, Meant To Be, which plays over the credits, will have you tearing up as you think about how very special to God your own precious children are, and how He has a master plan already in place for each of their lives!
This Christmas season, Big Idea has also partnered with the Steven Curtis Chapman Foundation, Show Hope. This organization has a heart and a mission to care for orphans around the world. They help fund adoptions and even provide life-saving medical care when needed. A truly amazing organization, which YOU can help over this Christmas season! For more information, go here.
It's a Meaningful Life can be purchased at all Christian retailers and many general retailers.Here's a $3 OFF coupon that can be applied to your order! You can also just stay at your computer and simply order this episode at the Big Idea website, here
Be sure to add your comment below as to why you love VeggieTales, and you'll be automatically entered to win a DVD set containing BOTH St. Nicholas AND It's a Meaningful Life!!
Full disclosure: I received my copy of VeggieTales' It's a Meaningful Life from Big Idea Productions, Inc. and receive no monetary compensation for reviewing this product.
What if my life had taken a different direction? What if I had made different choices? Where would I be, today? Happier? More fulfilled? Would my life have had a clearer meaning or more purpose?
I admit this is a strange way to begin a movie review. Especially since I’m reviewing the newest VeggieTales’ episode, IT’S A MEANINGFUL LIFE. But when you sit with your kids and watch this particular Christmas-themed episode, you’ll understand exactly what I’m talking about. It’s a pre-school show that just might get the moms and dads thinking along the lines of, What if?... And then, using God’s Word, perhaps answer those very soul-searching questions.
Now, on with the show!
It’s a Meaningful Life, starts sometime in the past. Stewart (Larry the Cucumber) aka: The Green Machine, was playing the biggest football game of his life! His whole future was riding on his performance in last the few seconds of this game! But, instead of leaving the field as a hero, he left the field injured. Someone else, by pure coincidence, became the hero that day. That one moment in time changed Stewart’s life-plan, forever!
Move ahead to present day; Stewart is married to the lovely Donna (Petunia Rhubarb). They have been blessed with a beautiful family and live in a modest home located in the same town in which they grew up, Rockwell. Stewart, who once dreamed of leaving Rockwell, for his own fame and fortune, has instead settled into this life and taken over his father’s toy train manufacturing business.
While Stewart’s life seems happy enough, there is a piece of his heart that lacks true contentment. One of the most poignant moments in the movie, is the prayer that Stewart prays, as he feels his life no longer has meaning. “God, why did I end up like this...I was going to do something... special...instead I’ve ruined everything...”
He literally embarks on an incredible journey, hopping on the “What If Express”, which enables him to see a glimpse of what his life would be like IF that football game had ended the way he had always hoped.
Stewart learns that his life is part of God’s plan, and his life has greatly impacted the lives of so many others!Especially his own wife and children! He learns that God’s plan for our lives is truly the perfect plan...and that our lives are, indeed, meaningful when we follow that plan.
Finally, he learns contentment.
“I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. They are plans for good and not disaster; plans to give you a future filled with hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
Maybe it’s my age. Hmmm...where DID my 30’s go, anyway? Maybe it’s the fact that I have asked those very same “What if”questions a lot more frequently over the last few years. Whatever it is, I highly recommend this episode for the entire family!! This is one DVD that you’re definitely going to want to enjoy with the kids!
VeggieTales', It’s a Meaningful Life is such a well made, well written and beautifully produced show. Yeah, I’m a fan, and you probably wouldn’t expect me to say anything too negative-- but I was truly blessed by the theme in this particular story! Director, Brian Roberts, did a fab job in the driver's seat of this episode!
The music in this show is great! Kudos once again to Kurt Heineke for the score, and Mike Nawrocki and Mark Steele who once again knocked it out of the park with their great lyrics! Oh, and Moms, you’re going to crack up at the Silly Song, Goodnight Junior. Although, my personal favorite is the song, Precious Girl. Losing my dad last year, this song brought me back to the times when I was a little girl and relied on my own dad to make whatever problem I was dealing with, go away. There's just a special bond between little girls and their daddy's. Great song!
Once again, the people at Big Idea have joined forces with one of Christian entertainment’s top names! This time, Steven Curtis Chapman. His beautifully written song, Meant To Be, which plays over the credits, will have you tearing up as you think about how very special to God your own precious children are, and how He has a master plan already in place for each of their lives!
This Christmas season, Big Idea has also partnered with the Steven Curtis Chapman Foundation, Show Hope. This organization has a heart and a mission to care for orphans around the world. They help fund adoptions and even provide life-saving medical care when needed. A truly amazing organization, which YOU can help over this Christmas season! For more information, go here.
It's a Meaningful Life can be purchased at all Christian retailers and many general retailers.Here's a $3 OFF coupon that can be applied to your order! You can also just stay at your computer and simply order this episode at the Big Idea website, here
Be sure to add your comment below as to why you love VeggieTales, and you'll be automatically entered to win a DVD set containing BOTH St. Nicholas AND It's a Meaningful Life!!
Full disclosure: I received my copy of VeggieTales' It's a Meaningful Life from Big Idea Productions, Inc. and receive no monetary compensation for reviewing this product.
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