Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Am I Christian--enough?

I should be packing.  There is just too much to do,and I shouldn't be sitting here writing.

But here I am.  Because what better place is there to vent about doubts than a personal blog?

Being from California, I have spent the better part of my life feeling like I didn't fit in.  I am a short, not-skinny, fair skinned, nice, brunette.  Living in the land of perpetual sunshine, tans and bikinis, I sort of always felt like the odd ball.

My high school years were spent trying to find my footing in a sub-culture that embraced habitual dating, recreational pot-smoking, and pretty much everything else glorified in the 1980's iconic movie, "Fast Times at Ridgemont High".  Stuff that I didn't embrace.

I was a church geek.  I loved my church's youth group, and the parish drama team.  Our priest came to our house for family dinners and birthday parties.  I read the Bible, loved Jesus and wanted to go on mission--one day.

I dreamed of being a nurse and traveling to Africa to help people.  The missions part didn't happen... there was this cute guy that I met, and I opted to stay at home.  Isn't there always "that guy"?

With all this said, I've been blessed with many great friends!  But I just danced to a different beat!

Fast forward to present day.  I have (sort of) found my footing.  My worldview is what shapes the woman I am.  I love teaching my children about having a relationship with God; about finding out who it is God has created them to be, and about following their dreams.

Now we are moving to Nashville.  The buckle of the Bible Belt! -- And after all this time I am left wondering if I will fit in. Becoming comfortable in my own shoes means that while I love Jesus with all my heart, I can not pretend to be somebody I'm not. I Christian enough?

I like having a glass of wine or even a margarita! We "do" the whole Santa Claus, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy-thing.  We decorate our house with jack-o-lanterns and dress up in costume on Halloween--sometimes even scary costumes.  I have been known to occasionally use the words: crap and frickin'.   I listen to as much secular music as I do Christian music.  My kids have been in karate for years.  I love adult situational comedies like, The Family Guy.  I teach my children about creation but also teach them that there are people who believe in something called "evolution", and I teach them what it is.  I teach my children about Greek Mythology and we do great reports about the gods that this society worshipped, the whole time intertwining great pieces of literature and art work (sometimes naked subjects) into this study.

This is who I am.  And I like her.

Working in the niche of Christian media, I hear all kinds of things from my target audience that constantly make me wonder, do I even fit into this industry?

The real ADULT question is this... who am I, in Christ?  I am Lisa.  I am a child of God.  I gave my life to Jesus when I was about 16 years old.  I am confident in my relationship with Him.  And, if you want a real friend, who respects your boundaries but who also asks that you respect hers...I'm here!

Nashville, here I come-- ready or not!