My Sin Is Out There...

My drug of choice is food.  There it is... out there for the whole world to see.  I have struggled with this complicated addiction for several years.  There are days when I actually have wished my addiction was one of the more socially acceptable addictions, like illicit drugs, alcohol or smoking. People seem to embrace those who struggle with those addictions.  Most of us understand that life is tough and as much as we desire to give our worries over to God, our very human sinfulness seeps through, and we fail.  A lot.  At least I do. For those of us who struggle with weight, we are subjected to unfair scrutiny. We are said to be people who have no self control, poor self esteem and (given the current administration's tone) we are openly vilified.

Listen, it's tough to have my sin out there for the whole world to see.  I struggle with self control.  I struggle with anxiety... about a lot of stuff.  I look in the mirror and I like who I see. I'm far from gorgeous, but not hideous. I'm healthy.  I'm a good person.  A likeable woman.  And boom!- Someone makes a comment which on the front end sound like concern for my over-all health, but then ends with a, "as long as you're happy with how you look..."  How I look?  When did I become repulsive?  Okay, really?  I'd much rather deal with  a person who blatantly calls me a name than the passive aggressive crap.  Because what then happens is that I look at that same mirror and think I look like Jabba the Hutt!

We all have hard things to deal with.  And we all must choose our method of dealing.  For some that method is denial. For some it's facing head on.  Either way, numbing the pain is sometimes all we want to do. My world changed about 6 years ago, when I really thought my husband was going to die.  I felt so alone, and I stayed so scared.  I would pray constantly.  In my heart I knew that God would take care of my boys and I.  I didn't know how. That unknown was scary.  Where would we live?  What would I do for a living after being out of the workforce for over 10 years?  I had no current certification or license that would enable me to jump back into a decent paying job.  How would I take care of my boys?

Crackers and chips made me feel better during this time. They numbed the fear.  When something feels good during a really bad time, one tends to keep going back to the "feel good" stuff.  I did.

During this same time, my youngest son, who was obviously struggling with language and developmental delays, was diagnosed with autism.  Great.  All I knew about autism was from in the movie, Rainman.  Was this my son's future?  "Wapner at 3?" "KMart Sucks?!" Would I be able to be his advocate and fight to get him the therapies he needed?  How would I have the stamina left to also become the expert on autism that I had become on Wegener's Disease?  How could I afford to pay $50 an hour for his therapies if my husband died, or even if he had to go on permanent disability with kidney failure?

Chocolate.  I needed chocolate... it made the fear seem more manageable.  I needed something to numb the pain.

During this season of my life I know I gained weight.  I know I aged a lot, too.  I certainly grew up!  I had to.  I had to take on the role of mom and dad.  I had to take my husband's place as the decision maker, as he bravely and so amazingly would put in a whole day in at the office, then toggle between a dialysis chair and the upstairs' recliner.  He shouldn't have been asked to do what he did, but he did it without hesitation.  I know that was God who gave him the strength to get through.  I look back, even 4 years after he reached remission, and I shutter to think about it all.

We all have a story.  I'm certainly NOT the only person in the world who has struggled with issues.  And my story has a somewhat happy ending.  He didn't die!!  Plus, my son is getting the therapies he needs.  It's not perfect.  Like most everyone, our lives are still full of tough decisions and ongoing struggles.  But we manage the best we can. I still work at becoming an expert on autism, or at least my son's version of autism.  This means being able to navigate through IEP meetings, legalities, psychotropic drugs, ADHD therapies, pragmatic language, sensory diets, and social skills.  Oh, and remembering to not step on toes, burn bridges or bruise fragile egos.

But my sin is still out there for everyone to see.  For people, even those who mean well, to comment about.  And comment they do!--In love, of course, and with a well meaning post on social media that feels as though someone just slapped me in the face. I struggle to figure out what I did to warrant such... love.

I write about my faith, and yet it seems I am so lacking in that faith.  But really, I couldn't even get up each morning if it weren't for my faith in God and knowing that even though I don't understand all the "whys", He's still in control.  He only wants the best for me.  He is my strength and my shelter.  And in that truth, I'm able to not go and get a cracker every time I want to make the pains in my heart go numb.  But I still fail a lot.  And it doesn't take much for me to see how very fallible I am.  The self doubt and self-hate creep in, over and over.  But, again I must take it to the cross. Take it to He who loves me unconditionally.  Perfectly.  And in spite of all my many flaws.

Thank you Jesus.  In your eyes I really do remain, captivating, beautiful and worthy of love.  Now, to just remember that all the time!!

Our Anniversary...

It was a beautiful day, twenty one years ago today.  The sun was shining bright, and there was a crispness to the air... but it wasn't unbearably cold.  Perfection.  A "winter" day in Southern California.

I started the morning being forced to eat breakfast by my mother.  Eat?  I didn't want to eat.  It was my wedding day and I was so excited I could barely breathe much less eat!  But I ate a few bites of scrambled eggs and a bite or two of toast.  Then it was off to the hair salon to get my hair done with my veil.

Most of my bridesmaids met at the salon.  Up dos for everyone!  We laughed so much!  It was such a fun morning!! Then off to Dave's uncle and aunt's house to get dressed and take pictures.  Wow! The time flew by that day!

I really don't know what Dave was doing during the morning hours of January 18, 1992.  All I know for certain is that he met me at 2:30 that afternoon, at the altar of St. John Vianney's Catholic Church.  He was the most handsome man I had ever seen, wearing his military dress blues, sword and cape... Yes, there was a cape! No noble steed, but he had a cape and a sword; two out of three made my fairytale wedding a reality! My prince was there, waiting for me to meet him at the altar.

Fast forward twenty-one years, and we are living 2000 miles away in Tennessee.  We have been true to our vows, loving each other through good times and bad times; in sickness and health; richer or poorer; forsaking all others.  We've lived out all of those promises, one at a time. We've made it through some tough patches.  Marriage is hard at times, but our commitment to each other is real.  Not until I find someone better, skinnier, richer, or smarter... but for a lifetime.

I love you,  Dave.  I'm so grateful that we have ridden this roller coaster of life together over the last 21 years.  I hope to be next to you for many, many more years to come.  Laughing, crying, and celebrating through the special moments of our lives.  God has blessed me with you!

VeggieTales' Contest --three days left!

Hey friends!

Only three days left!!!  If you would like to win a copy of the newest VeggieTales' DVD:  The League Of Incredible Vegetables... 

Go to the end of this earlier post and enter for your chance to win!!  Tweet about it, and get another chance.  

One chance per comment and Tweet per day!!  

VeggieTales' The League of Incredible Vegetables--PLUS DVD Giveaway!

The League of Incredible Vegetables, the newest DVD from VeggieTales’ has been a long awaited episode in my household! My youngest is a super-hero junkie, and while I like Ironman and The Avengers, I sometimes worry about the sarcasm used by the heroes and the adult-situations of these films. But VeggieTales has been a trusted brand in our home for the last 15 years, and continues to be a franchise which our family can continue to grow in Christian character with!

In this newest LarryBoy thriller from VeggieTales’, It was a bright and sunny day in Bumblyburg... until Dr. Flurry came to town. This chillin' villain wants to freeze the entire city... in fear! This job is too big for LarryBoy to handle alone, so he turns to "The League of Incredible Vegetables" for help! Thingamabob (Bob the Tomato), S-Cape (Mr. Lunt), Vogue (Petunia Rhubarb), and Ricochet (Junior Asparagus) are up for the task, but find that their own fears could land them in Dr. Flurry's deep freeze! Will they remember to turn to the One who is bigger than all their fears before the whole town ends up on ice? Find out in this heroic new VeggieTales episode with a lesson in handling fear!

Special Features on DVD:

 Featuring the new theme song and music video from The Newsboys! 

The Silly Song: Supper Hero. 

 League of Incredible Vegetables Music Video 

Behind the Scenes

 Guide to Raising Incredible Kids 

Studio Commentary 

English and Spanish Subtitles 

Run Time: 45 minutes

**NEW APP JUST RELEASED:

Your kiddos can now be superheroes themselves as they fight Dr. Flurry and de-ice Bumblyburg! Available for iPhone, iPod touch, iPad, and Android devices.Get this brand new app at itunes or Amazon.com

 The League of Incredible Vegetables can be purchased directly from VeggieTales for $11.99 or at your local Christian or general retailer. This movie makes a perfect Christmas gift! Also, you’ve got to see the toys that correspond with this movie! Very cool stuff for boys and girls!

 VeggieTales is generously offering one of my readers a copy of The League of Incredible Vegetables!

  a Rafflecopter giveaway

Can We Have It All??

This week  Marissa Mayer, the 37 year old CEO of Yahoo was featured on the cover of Fortune magazine looking stunningly svelte and polished by any Madison Avenue standard.  Ms. Mayer was promoted to CEO of Yahoo a few months ago, when she was six months pregnant. Instead of being photographed for Fortune as an expectant mom, she choose to wait until the baby was born (last week) and then ultimately use a photo taken a year and a half ago.

Was she dissing motherhood? Probably not.  But as a "Girl-Power" flag waver, I'd like to see her acknowledge that women, even moms, can achieve great things!  It would be very empowering to those of us who wonder if our chance to make a difference in this world is on hiatus until our youngest child celebrates their 18th birthday.

Being a mom is a big part of who I am.  It's my personal perspective point, and it has been for the last fourteen years.  To be honest,  I'm not sure if that perspective will ever change back to what it was in my pre-mommy days.  Even as my children grow older,  I tend to see the world through the eyes of a mother.  I frequently ask myself, "How will this affect ALL children?" --Even if it's not MY children in particular.

So, while I doubt Ms. Mayer was dissing motherhood, or moms in general, I'm disappointed that her role of mommy took backseat to the role of CEO.  Maybe I'm wrong... maybe there should be a dividing line between work and home.  Maybe that compartmentalization, which most of us females are unable to do well,  keeps Mayer's sanity.  I can respect that.  I've never walked a mile in her shoes, so I can't judge her.  Plus, I'm pretty sure I've never been asked to run ANY company, much less a Fortune 500 company, either before or after having kids!

Can a woman have it all?  Can anyone?  Do I lack the ambition to even attempt having it all?  Probably! I have everything I desire, and I'm beyond grateful that my "everything" desire became fulfilled when I took on the roles of wife and mother.  The rest I do is just filler...

Do I Miss Being A Home Schooling Mom?

I'm not exactly sure where the summer went...  but here I sit, with my house decorated for fall.  The kids are in school--both of them now. I no longer home school--at least not THIS YEAR.  I'm a woman with so much time on my hands, that I can't seem to complete one project without starting something else!  I'm manic over the fact that I don't have to do lesson plans or use the phrase..."Pay attention", for at least 7 hours a day!!

I get to work out, shower, and actually put on make up...all in the same day! All BEFORE LUNCH!! Laundry is folded AND put away (most of the time)! I can meet my husband for coffee or lunch, which is a little bit of heaven! I can actually shop during the daytime!!

Life after home schooling my kids for five years is good.  I was obedient to what God called me to do, and each child grew in their academic knowledge as well as in their spiritual well being.  It was a season of inner strengthening and even throughout the craziness of no real routine, we had a great deal of calmness. Well, some days, anyway. As we were going through it I doubt I would have used the word, "calmness", but now I have the morning rush which is still the hardest part of the day.  My constant phrase on weekday mornings is now, "Come on, let's go!"  I sound like a middle aged cheerleader!

Do I miss home schooling?  No!  And yes...

The crazy thing about motherhood is that even when you find your schedule a bit more open...and your day a bit more free... you tend to think about your kids even MORE than when they are sitting beside you.

With all my "free time", I find myself thinking: How can I decorate their bedrooms?  What posters have I put away that need to be framed?  Is it time to put away their summer quilts and take out their fluffy comforters?  I wonder what they'll like for dinner?

Yes, I am a mom.  It doesn't matter if I'm home schooling my children, they're constantly on my mind.

And when 3 PM rolls around, I'm now excited to wait in the pick up line at school!!  I can hardly wait to see my not-so-little monkey-men! Thank you Lord for my children...

Mom, I'm Bored!

I’ve always thought of July 4th as the mid-point of summer break.  Give or take a week or two, the summer break will soon be over, and the hustle and bustle of school days will once again fill our days.

Recently, on one of our many leisurely paced summer afternoons, my non-driving teenager looked up from the sofa, were he’d been watching a mid-morning marathon of Pawn Stars, to tell me how bored he was.  

Bored?  Really?  “Well, what do you want to do?”, I asked, already anticipating the answer.

“Can’t we go sommmmewherrrre?” 

Now keep in mind it was about 147 degrees outside, and the very thought of getting out, even for a quick trip to the grocery store, seemed like an adventure I was not up for!  But because I love my sweet son, I asked if he wanted to go to my favorite place in the whole world??  Target!

“Target? Mom! Can’t we go someplace fun?!”

Are you kidding?  Target isn’t fun? It’s like fun concentrate for a mom, but I guess not so much for a teen.  “Ok, where do you want to go?”  Thinking to myself ~please not the mall ; don't say the mall~!

“How about the mall?”

Ugh. He said it.  The mall! What is it about teenagers and the mall?  I remember wanting to go to the mall back when I was in high school, too.  I think (if my middle-aged memory serves me well) it was because there were other teenagers there, doing absolutely nothing, but walking around and giggling. We would walk into stores and try on silly hats, or costume jewlery.  We'd hang out in front of Orange Julius, and dare someone to walk into Spencers.  We were nice kids who pretty much had no idea how to even use the paraphernalia found in Spencers, but wouldn't let anyone else in on our naivety.

The mall seems like a waste of time.  But that’s because I’m forty---something.  I have a goal oriented outlook on life. I shop because I need to buy stuff, not for the "fun" of it.  Maybe I’ve forgotten how to enjoy wasting an entire afternoon, doing nothing but walking around the mall.  Hmmm.  

Adulthood comes too quickly.  Before you know it, there are bills to pay, and responsibilities which to attend.   It’s good to be a goofy teenager.  To walk around the mall and look at all the silly kiosks.  Trying on sunglasses, fake hair, and perusing the video game store.  There’s nothing wrong with (occasionally) gorging oneself on an Aunty Anne’s buttery pretzel, or an Orange Julius. It’s a good time of life, and I can’t help but want my own teen to experience it.  

Besides...it’s summer! 

VeggieTales' Robin Good DVD / Review and Giveaway

Robin Good and His Not So Merry Men

Release Date: March 6, 2012

Running Time: 45 minutes

Lesson: Handling Hurt

The story goes something like this: A long time ago, in the faraway town of Bethlingham, roved a band of merry men, led by the fearless Robin Good. Their mission: to help people by fundraising from the rich and giving to the poor!  But when a greedy Prince starts stealing the townspeople’s hams, donations are down and Robin’s friends take off and decide to give robbing from the rich a try. Feeling rejected, Robin thinks things can’t get any worse, until he finds out that the ham-hoarding Prince has also captured his friends. Can Robin overcome his own hurt, rescue his friends and restore the townspeople’s hope?  Find out in this fun Veggie story where kids learn that there’s no hurt too big for God!

VeggieTales' Robin Good and His Not-So-Merry Men  is a fun parody that features plenty of high-energy, family-friendly music, including a new Silly Song with a theme that was selected through a recent Facebook fan contest. 

The DVD starts out with “Lenny and The Lost Birthday” which is an adorable short episode about Lenny (Junior Asparagus) who thinks everyone has forgotten his birthday.  He goes through his day hoping someone--anyone--will remember it's his birthday! When it's obvious no one does remember, he's very hurt, and a little mad. His mom, realizing that her boy is hurting, explains why this year his birthday is one day later than usual...it's Leap Year!  Mom is able to convey to Lenny through the song, Things Will Get Better, that he's loved everyday, no matter what happens, by her and of course by God! 

The silly song on this DVD, Bubble Wrap, brings the "BITS"-- Boys in the Sink--back out of the crisper with a fresh style make-over, but with the same awesome vegetable boy band sound which we love!

The animation is beautifully done, and the music is great.  But as a parent, what I still love the most about VeggieTales is that they continue to write stories with messages I can (and do) resource when teaching my own children lessons about applying our Biblical worldview to our daily lives! Does God really care when I'm hurting?  Does He really listen to me when I'm feeling all alone?  Is there ever a hurt too small or too big for God?  You can bet your kids have these questions!  Heck, I've asked these same questions...!!  Whether or not you think raising a child "takes a village", I certainly (still) appreciate the Biblical truths that VeggieTales continues to teach kids through their stories! 

Robin Good has released in Christian retail as well as most big-box retailers.  You can also hop over to the VeggieTales site and order your own copy, today!  Keep in mind that Easter is rapidly approaching and this DVD would be a great addition to any one's Easter basket! 

I'm giving away a copy of Robin Good to ONE person who comments on this blog, under the comments section! This contest will end on April 2, in time for the winner to enjoy this movie for Easter!  Comment...go ahead...it's that easy!!!

**I was provided with product for review. All views and opinions with regard to this product or the company which produced this product are my own and were not influenced by any third party. **

Healthy Choices in the New Year...

My friend, Joanna Faillace, who is a Certified Bible Health Coach has sent me this very informative article! I'm pleased to share it here on my own personal blog, in its entirety!  If you have questions for Joanna or if you're interested in making some healthy changes this new year... please follow her on her website!  She's a wonderful, Christian woman, with a heart that desires to help people get physicallt healthy in Christ!

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New Year Tips for a Super-Naturally Healthy Family!

By Certified Biblical Health Coach, Joanna Faillace

 “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:19- 20 

OUT WITH THE OLD! IN WITH THE NEW!

To ring in the New Year, have a family prayer meeting and ask God for wisdom and guidance as you seek a healthier lifestyle for your family. Here are some dietary tips to help you:

 Decide not to buy processed junk foods that are void of any nutritive value and make it your goal, as much as possible, to buy organic foods which are whole foods that are made without any artificial flavors, colors, preservatives, high fructose corn syrup, toxic pesticides, chemically engineered feed, growth hormones and antibiotics. Read your labels and choose not to buy foods that contain toxic preservatives like MSG and ones that are genetically modified (GMO.)

 Switch from conventional milk to organic, whole milk that is least processed and is not treated with dangerous growth hormones and antibiotics.

 Don’t buy chemically bleached white bread, white rice and white sugar as these are high glycemic, “man-made” foods that cause your blood sugar to spike, and set off the hormone, cortisol, which is likely responsible for junk food cravings that your body will just store as fat! Do buy organic, whole grain breads, organic brown rice and organic cane sugar for baking.

 In place of chemically toxic, artificial sweeteners such as Splenda and Aspartame which can cause a host of side effects like migraines and hyperactivity, use all natural and enzyme rich, raw honey and organic maple syrup for sweetening coffee and tea.

Buy organic coffee as the leaves have not been sprayed with toxic pesticides! The extra investment is worth it, for your health’s sake! 

These are some easy and highly effective dietary tips that will work greatly to get you and your family on the road to supernatural health and wellness this New Year!

TURN OFF THE TV-TURN ON THE PRAISE! 

It is very difficult, if not impossible, to establish a peaceful and pleasant atmosphere in our homes when we are surrounded by multiple television sets constantly blaring away and with noisy video games being endlessly played! I believe the devil uses these as major distractions and stress inducers by causing family members to be angry and disrespectful and to be tempted to watch ungodly programs that do not glorify Christ! One of the best reSOULUTIONS we can make as parents is to TAKE ACTION!  Take the “controllers” away, turn off the TV’s and video games and turn on the praise tunes! Setting an atmosphere of praise and worship through Christ-centered music brings the family unit into blessed harmony and with a renewed focus!  

 RING THAT DINNER BELL TOGETHER!

God made whole, nutritious foods designed to keep us supernaturally healthy! Unfortunately, man has altered God’s perfect foods drastically by adding artificial flavors, colors, preservatives, high fructose corn syrup, toxic pesticides, chemically engineered feed, growth hormones and antibiotics. Because of our Typical American Diet loaded with these chemically processed foods, there is so much sickness and disease running rampant in families everywhere. I truly believe that God is challenging families to reverse their fast foods habits and get back into the kitchen and do some down home cooking with the whole, unprocessed foods he’s created! Family time in the kitchen can be really fun and educational! Assigning age-appropriate tasks to our children sparks a healthy interest in cooking, builds self-esteem and helps them to develop a sense of responsibility in caring for their bodies, which the Bible says are God’s temple! Some of our most valuable lessons and treasured memories come from cooking in the kitchen with Mama! 

EXERCISE FOR LIFE!

If you are financially able, prayerfully consider making an investment into a family membership at your local gym. This is another excellent way to strengthen the family bond and to ensure that everyone is getting consistent exercise that will help tremendously to ward off stress, fatigue, obesity and disease. Daily exercise also produces positive, mood-boosting endorphins in our brain that helps to create a joyful state of mind! If you cannot financially afford a gym membership, than you can always schedule daily walks in your neighborhood, or visit a local park or just get outside and have a ball and shoot some hoop with your kids!  Another idea is to buy a set of inexpensive hand weights to keep those arms strong and toned! Whatever you decide, a daily exercise plan will help your family to be responsible in caring for their bodies and to achieve life-long supernatural health and wellness!

Here are some Super-Naturally Healthy Meal Tips for Busy Families:

For Breakfast: Make all natural, fruit smoothies the night before and freeze them in individual cups! In the morning, all you have to do is take them out of the freezer and let them thaw a bit and your family has an instant, supernaturally healthy breakfast treat that will strengthen their immune systems and keep their bodies powered up until lunchtime! 

For Lunch: Protein rich, turkey sandwiches made with fresh baby spinach and garden ripe tomatoes on whole grain, fiber rich bread go a long way in providing complex carbs that our bodies need to stay powered up daily! To increase daily calcium levels, add a string cheese and a cup of organic, creamy, whole milk yogurt with probiotics and fresh berries for immune system protection. For a supernaturally healthy beverage, serve freshly squeezed juice, or boxed or bottled juices that are free of artificial flavors, chemical colors and toxic preservatives.

For a mid- afternoon energizer! Have a cup of freshly brewed, organic green tea with mint and add a teaspoon of raw honey.

For Dinner:  Grill up some barbeque chicken tenderloins right on the stove top in a grill pan! Everyone can help by creating a big, green salad loaded with lots of colorful veggies! Make your own easy, delicious and nutritious salad dressing without having to worry about store bought dressings that contain sulfites that could very well cause migraine headaches! Adding a warm loaf of organic, Sourdough bread served with real, creamy butter always hits that hungry spot!

 For Snacks: Prepare healthy, serving-sized snacks such as cut up fresh fruit, organic trail mix, and whole grain crackers with cheese the night before for school lunches or family road trips. That way, mornings can be less stressful and you’ll be able to get on the road in peace knowing you have already prepared a healthy alternative for your kids, especially, as you drive past the fast food and doughnut shops!

For easy, delicious and supernaturally healthy recipes for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks for your family, check out my Super-Naturally Healthy Families Cookbook available on my web site at www.supernaturallyhealthy.net.

How Montessori Failed Our Autistic Son

It's almost the time of year when parents start looking at alternative school options for their kids.  I know we started this research around this time, last year, ourselves.  There's so much to check out that it can become a daunting task, and one in which you may desperately desire to get an unbiased opinion about the school, teachers and IF it's going to be a good fit for your child.

Our son is high functioning on the autism spectrum.  Not Aspergers, mind you, but high functioning with a normal IQ.  He has behaviors that go hand in hand with autism, like ADHD, some sensory issues, and anxiety.  If you're the parent of a child who's on the spectrum, you'll already understand that there's no one-size fits all for our kiddos.  Just like each of them have specific needs, each of them require specific environments to help enrich their over-all education/socialization needs.

I have been homeschooling my son since Kindergarten.  Our public school options back in California meant that he would be "resourced" for most of his academics.  Meaning he would be pulled out of his mainstream classroom to a resource/special education room with other kids who had learning disabilities.  It sounds doable on one level, but with all the education budget cuts that had taken place, we were left with one special education teacher, a big resource room, and several kids who performed on a variety of levels academically.  After hearing the odds that appeared to be stacked against him in public education, we chose to home school. 

Upon moving to Tennessee, I spent countless hours researching schools, both public and private. I liked that we lived in a county that promoted inclusive education; meaning they would keep kids with special needs in the mainstream class with the help of an aide, as long as they were able to stay up with the class and not disrupt the learning environment with behaviors.  Tricky, since I knew he was going to be anxious going from a one-on-one learning mode to having 30 other kids in class.  And, like many homeschoolers already know, we're pretty laid back about needing to use the restroom, asking questions, talking, and even getting up and roaming the house if need be.  Staying on task with a kid on the spectrum many times means going out of the box with options to bring them back into a focused state.  Traditional classrooms can't function like this, obviously. 

It was at this point we started researching alternative education options.  We were told by our new therapist that if he got more socialization opportunities, it would help in his over-all social development.  Not really understanding how we would facilitate this growth from the outside looking in, we delved into looking at feasible options.  And by feasible I also mean affordable.  Let's face it, private schools, especially the ones that would have staff who knew special ed, are expensive.  I kept telling myself. "we can't put a price tag on anything that would help (our son)."  But really, there are some wonderful schools out there that would take me going back to a full time nursing job just to pay the tuition.  While that wasn't off the table, entirely, we found what we thought might be a good and affordable alternative: Montessori!

There's some good information written about the Montessori method of learning, and how it helps kids who learn differently. There are good write ups on how Montessori allows kids to learn at their own speed, never pushing them to a level of anxiety, but also taking into consideration the whole child.  It sounded lovely!  It sounded too good to be true. And for us, it was.

I'm not here to bash Montessori schools.  Just like in any other alternative education environment, there are good fits and bad fits.  I'm just writing to tell you that not all assumed good fits will actually pan out. 

First, you must know that if your child is NOT self motivated, this may not be a good learning environment for him.  There are some kids who love the idea of learning and who can't get enough knowledge.  Our son, if given the choice of playing or reading will always-without hesitation-choose playing!  Plus he's smart enough to see when teachers try to combine the two, and will (and did) balk at the whole idea!  This particular learning environment increased his anxiety, caused him to wander the halls (because that's evidently ok with this particular school) and take many 20 minute bathroom breaks.  His teacher, who supposedly came with a degree in teaching special education, handed my son off to a teacher's aide, who had NO experience with autism and who was left frazzled at the end of the day from not having the necessary skills to effectively communicate with him. 

I think what I became the most irate about, was that Montessori gives the kids about a 6 week time frame to "adjust" to their new surroundings.  That makes sense.  But what does not make sense is that they NEVER ONCE communicated with either myself or my husband about our son's personal transition, his behaviors, or their concerns.  Hey, if it "takes a village", maybe bringing in mom and dad as part of the equation might be a good idea???  Just a thought...

In the end, my son didn't like going to school and they didn't feel like they could meet his needs.  Mostly because the teacher's aide decided that she no longer wanted to work full time.  It was a disaster! Our only experience was one of resentment, anger and frustration.  Our son, who gained absolutely NO SOCIALIZATION skills from this awful experience was brought back home, and I'm once again home schooling him.  He's now a happy, well behaved child...who has many friends and playmates.

Socialization is something that is better serviced when parents can get involved anyway.  People, even mutli-degreed professionals, who tell you differently do not always have your child's best interest in mind. 

Parents, you KNOW your own child.  His gifts, his limitations, his needs and his potential.  Think very stongly before entrusting your precious child to an educator or learning institution that sells you on the fact they are a perfect fit for your child.  Maybe they are!  But pray for discernment and then trust that inner voice!

I'm So Thankful that Mary said, "Yes"...

Growing up Catholic, I remember a lot of emphasis being placed on the importance of Mary, the mother of Jesus.  Yes, in some ways I felt that there was a sort of worship of Mary that was expected. Biblically, I disagree that anyone except the Trinity is worthy of worship.  But now that I'm an Evangelical Christian--a bit non-denominational mixed with a sprinkling of Protestant seasoning-- I am saddened that many in the church want to totally ignore the importance that Mary played in the whole scheme of salvation.  She's much more than what many give her credit as being.  Like it or not, she was the mother of the Lord Jesus, the Christ.

We must remember that Mary said "YES".  She was a sinner, just like you or I.  She needed a Savior, just like we do.  But she had a choice when she was approached by the Angel Gabriel that fateful day.  She could have chosen the path that was a lot easier. Mary, a young girl, who knew that she would have been questioned about infidelity and her lack of chastity the rest of her life (which unlike today was a pretty serious offense, punishable by stoning), chose without too much hesitation to be the handmaiden of the Lord.  She chose to give up the social comforts that living under the radar of public scrutiny would have afforded her.  All this because she loved God, and trusted Him. And remember, God chose HER, too.  Out of all women, He chose Mary to be the mother of Jesus!

If you were approached today by a Heavenly messenger, and asked to do something for God that would take your life off of its current course; knowing that what you were asked to do would bless others but make your life a lot harder...how would you answer that calling?

We must also remember that Mary, yes 100% human, deserves our respect as the mother of Jesus.  She was not merely a vessel, anymore than I was a vessel for my own children.  I am their mother.  Mother's know their children's hearts. They stay up at night with them when they're sick.  They wipe their tears when they fall or have a heartbreak.  They put the needs of their children ahead of their own, and love them unconditionally--and forever.  Now, imagine you are the mother of Jesus.  Knowing prophecy, and knowing that He would have to die save the world; That his purpose for coming to Earth was that of the perfect sacrificial lamb for the whole world's sins.  Can you imagine what she must have held deep in her heart?  As a mother of two sons, I can only partially imagine...but even just imagining, it's too painful.

While I choose to not worship Mary as a deity of any kind, I respect her so much!  I love her so much!  And one day, when I get to Heaven, I hope to tell her how grateful I am that she said, YES.

How Important to You is the Issue of Faith When Choosing a President?

If you live in the United States of America, you’re aware that we have a Presidential election coming up next November. You’re probably keenly aware of this fact due to the mudslinging that has already started among the Presidential contenders. And sadly, it’s only just begun!


It can be argued that a candidate’s character, and world view is just as important as where they stand on fiscal and social issues. Maybe even more so. As Christians, we are supposed to see, speak and act in accordance to our relationship with God. We seek future leaders who live in that same accordance, and who do not bare false witness against their neighbor. That’s a biggie if you watch any of the debates!

This particular election cycle has brought on discussions of individual faith, and for some, a deep concern about what a candidate’s faith might mean to their Presidency.

When John Kennedy ran for the Presidency against Richard Nixon in 1960, there was a deep anxiety in the country about his Roman Catholic heritage and the potential for clerical intrusion into presidential decision making. What did Kennedy do during the closing weeks of the campaign to allay the fears of Christian and other voters who were not Roman Catholic?

On September 12, 1960, Kennedy addressed 300 Protestant ministers of the Houston Ministerial Association. He made three major points: he believed in an America where separation of church and state is absolute; no religious body should impose its beliefs on the general populace or the public acts of its officials; his decisions as president would be based on good public policy, not sectarian doctrine. The key sentence was:

“I am not the Catholic candidate for President. I am the Democratic Party's candidate for President who also happens to be a Catholic. I do not speak for my Church on public matters - and the Church does not speak for me.”

Some 50 years after that address, President Kennedy’s words are still being debated among church leaders and political candidates. A big question that’s still being debated is, did Kennedy separate himself from his Christian/Catholic faith so much, that it made it clear that whatever decisions he would face as President would not be influenced by that faith?

Many feel that Kennedy, in his speech, did not necessarily divorce faith or the Christian frame of reference from the public square; rather, he rejected claims of church authority upon his conscience and the public interest. He said:

“But if the time should ever come -- and I do not concede any conflict to be even remotely possible -- when my office would require me to either violate my conscience or violate the national interest, then I would resign the office; and I hope any conscientious public servant would do the same.”

Just how important is it to you that the President’s character and all decisions once in office be shaped by their world view? Please take a moment to think about this one: Can an honest, fair, person of integrity, without a personal faith in God successfully hold the office of President of the United States?

Holiday Survival Tips

I love Christmastime!  The lights and decorations are magical. There is a brotherly love that fills the air. The kids are all behaving nicely because "Santa Claus is watching"... and to that genius who invented Elf on the Shelf-- I love you! Yes it's our feel-good time of the year.  But, the holidays can also be some of the most stressful times as well.

We may be forced to celebrate this time of year with people who we may not even want to be in the same room with.  Yes, sometimes we are related to these knuckleheads, and sometimes they are our co-workers.  Either way, how does one get through a holiday party without starting World War III?

Simple.  Hold your tongue!

There will be ample time after the holidays to confront your nasty brother.  If it's a co-worker that rubs you the wrong way, the last thing you need to do is start something that will end you up in the human resources department on Monday...having to explain your way out!

Another simple rule:  If you lose your inhibitions to tell the world what you REALLY think of them at 2 glasses of wine... only allow yourself ONE glass.

Keep this holiday season focused on what we are truly celebrating; the anticipation and celebration of our Savior's birth!  Oh yeah... and that whole "Peace on Earth" thing, too!

Merry Christmas!

Why DO We Call it Christmas, anyway???

It's Christmastime! Buck Denver and his friends are starring in a brand new DVD, "Buck Denver Asks, Why Do We Call it Christmas?" --And you're going to love it!

While most Christmas shows are entertaining, only Phil and his friends can pull off being  “edutaining”.  I know that’s not a real word– so don’t try it on Words With Friends– but I can’t think of a better word to describe this incredibly entertaining and super educational Christmas show.  Phil Vischer explains it beautifully during his intro to the show when he says, “We all know the Christmas Story, but do we really know the story of Christmas?”  

   

As the show begins, we find Buck Denver feeling a little confused about why there are so many holiday traditions tied into celebrating Jesus’ birthday. Why do we drag trees into our homes and decorate them? Where did the tradition of hanging stockings by the fire come from? Why is Santa Claus even a part of Jesus’ birthday, anyway?  With the help of Sunday School Lady and Marcie, Buck sends out invites to all of his friends, hoping they can make it to his cabin in Indiana for a Christmas party.  Along the way, we see that it’s not only Buck who’s a little confused about where all the different Christmas traditions have come from.

You and your kids will truly appreciate how lovingly accurate each of these sometimes tricky questions are handled.  As you’ve come to expect from What’s in the Bible?, this show is witty, heart-warming and just plain fun to watch! And of course, the kids will get a beautiful lesson about the birth of Jesus–the REAL reason we celebrate Christmas! Look for some great new songs mingled together with some of your traditional holiday favorites.

I personally appreciated that kids with sensory integration issues won’t find this DVD overly stimulating, like some popular shows on TV. The songs aren’t obnoxiously loud with a lot of percussion and the movement of the characters is well regulated and not jerky or rapid.  The colors are bright and the story will hold their attention.  For the kiddos who love facts, this DVD is a goldmine!

If your family’s like mine, you probably already have a nice-sized Christmas movie library.  You’ll definitely want to add this DVD to your collection! It’s one that can be enjoyed by the whole family throughout the season!

I'm giving away a copy of, "Buck Denver Asks, Why Do We Call it Christmas?" For a chance to win this DVD, in the comment section below tell me what it is you love the most about Phil Vischer's newest series, "What's in the Bible?" If you haven't seen the series yet... just say that.  Winner will be randomly selected on Friday, November 24. 

Why Do We Call It Christmas? is now available in the WITB online store or in your local Christian bookstore.

I was given a copy of this DVD in order to review it. I have received no other compensations for this blog post. All opinions written here are mine.

The Loss of a Child...When We Can't Explain the WHY.

I'm sitting at my son's tutorial and have just found out that last week one of the dear ladies who works here had to fly back to her daughter's home because while she was supposed to give birth last Friday, she instead found out that the baby had died in utero.  Perfectly formed, no illness.  This baby was called back home to Heaven before ever experiencing this world.

Heartbreak.  It's sometimes--many times-- unexplainable.  Why would God allow such heartbreak in the lives of those He loves?  I wish I knew the answers to those types of questions.  All I know for sure is that His plan is greater than what my mind can comprehend.  All I can do is love those who suffer, and pray for their broken hearts to be mended.  Pray that the Holy Spirit miraculously bestow on them peace and joy even if it seems an impossibility to receive such gifts during the middle of their personal storm.

This story makes me think of the loss that Steven Curtis Chapman's family suffered a few years back.  When their precious five year old daughter was accidentally run over and killed in their own driveway.  The gift that came from that loss was a story of God's healing mercies on this family.  Their personal story and even a beautiful song written and sung by Chapman, continues to be a blessing to so many other families who are in the midst of loss.  Whether it was through illness or accident, the loss of a child must me unimaginable.  Insurmountable--without the healing mercies of our God.

Today I'm praying for all the parents out there who are struggling with the loss of their precious child.  In Steven Curtis Chapman's song, "Heaven is the Face...", he uses lyrics which touch the very heart of all of us.

How to Talk to Your Kids About Being Bullied--copied from my post in What's in the Bible

My latest post in www.whatsinthebible.com:

Some people may think that bullying is just a part of growing up.  There’s always going to be that mean kid who torments those of us who are different in some way.  But the truth is that no one should have to suffer through bullying.  Our kids need to know that they can come to us if they are feeling threatened and that we will do something about it.

I write this blog as a mom, not a medical expert, but I believe that talking with our kids is a vital first step in considering how we are going to handle their very personal questions and emotions.  Even if our own kids aren’t the bully’s target, they may have heard or witnessed things that make them fearful. Begin by listening to your child.  Let him/ her tell their story. Remember that there will probably be emotional pain about the way they or a friend is being treated. Their feelings, fears and emotions need to be validated.

To be effective advocates, parents need to react to the knowledge that their child is a bully’s target in a way that encourages the child to trust them.  Projecting displaced anger or throwing out negative judgmental comments will only make them feel more isolated. Asking them why they didn’t stand up to the bully might stop any communication in its tracks!  Believe them and support them.  Tell them that it is not their fault and that they do not deserve to be bullied.  Empower the child by reminding them how special he/ she is, Psalm 139:14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Be patient, because children may not be ready to open up to you right away.  Talking about the bullying may be very difficult.  There could be fear about retaliation from the bully.  The child might be feeling insecure, withdrawn, frightened or ashamed.  Give them the time they need to share what’s going on.

Parents can educate their child about bullying by providing information at a level that the child can understand.  A good site that may be a useful resource is www.stopbullying.gov   This site has some good information that can be shared with kids! Parents can also talk to their kids about workable options in dealing with bullying behavior.

For parents who have younger kids or kids with special needs and who suspect that there might be a bullying issue going on, here are some questions that might get conversation started:

·         How was the bus ride today?
·         Who did you sit next to today at lunch?
·         I notice that you seem to be feeling sick a lot and wanting to stay home. Please tell me about that.
·         Are kids making fun of you?
·         Has anyone touched you in a way that did not feel right?
·         Did the child hurt you on purpose?
·         Was it done more than once?
·         Did they make you feel bad or angry?
·         Is the other child (more powerful, bigger, scarier…) than you in some way?
(Adapted from “Your Child: Bully or Victim”, Peter Sheras, Ph.D., 2002)

For older kids, talking about recent events in the news or bullying incidents on TV or in a movie might help lead them into discussion about how they are feeling.

The first step in understanding the emotional, physical or psychological effects bullying is having on our kids is starting a conversation with them and listening to them. All the while reassuring them how much we love and value them as individuals. Praying with them daily will also help empower them with the knowledge that God loves them completely and perfectly as they are– and how very important they are to Him. Everyday, when I drop my kids off at school, I pray for angelic protection to be like a hedge around them.  Prayer is an essential part of our role as parents, and knowing that God’s abundant grace is ever-present fills me and my children with the biggest sense of peace.

It's Just a Token Name...or Is It?

I was that kid who was lucky enough to have such great friends growing up, I called their parent's "mom" and "dad".  I thought of it as a title of endearment, and I threw it around sort of casually.  It felt a little less uppity than referring to my friends' parents as "Mr." or "Mrs."  But should the titles "mother" or "father" be used so casually?

After losing my dad back in 2009, my whole world turned upside down.  How could I ever call another person "dad" when they would all pale in comparison to the man who was my life-long hero?  No matter how old I got, I was his "little princess".  I was "mijita linda".  He was my daddy...  and I only had ONE daddy.

So now that I've experienced this great loss, I've come to realize that I can't ever again call another man, "dad".  I can never again call another woman, "mom".  I have been blessed with two fabulous parents, who have loved me unconditionally.  No one else who would be given token titles of "mom" or "dad" could ever fill their shoes...ever.

This is just my personal realization, and I by no means think everyone else should follow what I've chosen to do.  But for me, I choose to only refer to "mom" and "dad" when speaking about the two people who God chose to be my parents!

VeggieTales Double GIVEAWAY and A Review of The Little Drummer Boy

One of my favorite children's series of all time is VeggieTales.  I've trusted the makers of these sweet shows for the last 13 years, and I've never been disappointed in their approach to teaching Christian values through entertainment! It's my pleasure to tell you a little about their newest release.


This Christmas season you'll want to be sure to pick up your copy of VeggieTales: The Little Drummer Boy! This is a heartwarming story, that retells the classic made-for-TV version, from 1968.  Inspired by the Biblical story of Jesus' birth and Based on Ephesians 4:32, which says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you,” this DVD offers a timeless message of hope, generosity and love during the holiday season.  Reminding us all to ask ourselves, "What gifts can I bring to the newborn King??" You'll also love hearing multi-Grammy and Dove Award-winning artists BeBe and CeCe Winans singing their version of the iconic “The Little Drummer Boy” song. Some new songs written for this production are, “Can’t Smile Without Ewe,” and the newly animated, classic Veggie Christmas song, “The 8 Polish Foods of Christmas."

In this Veggie-version of a holiday classic, Junior Asparagus stars as The Little Drummer Boy, a lonely child who finds the true meaning of Christmas when he stumbles upon the birth of the baby Jesus. It's great to see so many of our favorite Veggie characters back on the screen! Bob the Tomato, Pa Grape, Mr. Nezzar, Archibald and Mr. Lunt join Larry, Junior and many more of your favorite Veggies in this wonderful family story. This DVD can be purchased online at www.veggietales.com (with free delivery for orders over $30) or at your local Walmart or Christian bookstore! 

The Little Drummer Boy DVD Bonus Features:

• Trailer for VeggieTales' spring 2012 new release, Robin Good and His Not-So-Merry Men
• Little Drummer Boy music video
• Visit a drum factory with Junior
• Behind the music of The Little Drummer Bot
• Family Activity - Make your own drum
• Singalong songs

Looking for some great new Christmas music to add to your holiday collection?  O Holy Night: Journey of a Little Drummer Boy CD

Features never-before released on CD songs from Amy Grant & Matthew West, Steven Curtis Chapman, and BeBe & CeCe Winans! 
Order your CD at: www.veggietales.com
 
Here are the tracks you'll get on this fab CD:

• Hark the Herald Angels Sing
• Do You Hear What I Hear
• It's About Love - featuring Wynonna Judd 
• Can't Smile Without Ewe
• Meant to Be - featuring Steven Curtis Chapman
• Silent Night
• What Child is This / The First Noel
• Give This Christmas Away - featuring Amy Grant & Matthew West 
• Oh Holy Night 
• Away In A Manger
• The Little Drummer Boy - featuring BeBe and CeCe Winans
• Please let me know if you would like to receive this  

If you're looking for a great way to show your kids how they can truly make a difference in the lives of others throughout the world this Christmas, VeggieTales' and World Vision are once again teaming up this year! World Vision’s Gift Catalog offers goats, chickens, clean water and more than 100 other unique and meaningful gifts that provide love, hope and joy to children and families in need. Selecting and giving gifts is a way to for families to make the message of VeggieTales: The Little Drummer Boy come alive in their homes this giving season, while providing others with the tools they need to break free from poverty. To learn more about the partnership and the Gift Catalog, visit www.VeggieTales.com/WorldVision 

I'm giving away a copy of The Little Drummer Boy DVD AND a copy of O Holy Night: Journey of a Little Drummer Boy CD to two separate winners!  

To enter to win simply tell me who your favorite VeggieTales character is, and why. Two winners will be randomly selected on October 26. No "anonymous" entries, please.

Disclosure: I received copies of VeggieTales:The Little Drummer Boy DVD and O Holy Night:Journey of a Little Drummer Boy CD for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Opinions on this blog, as always, are my own. LS