Another Marriage Ends...

So after seven years of marriage, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have decided to end their marriage.  Irreconcilable differences, no doubt.  Maybe the Hollywood sect hasn't heard that marriage is tough.  It takes work, devotion, and commitment.  Why is it so easy for people to end a marriage?  Should it be easier to get out of a marriage than it is a car lease?  Surely not!

My husband and I have been married for almost 20 years.  While I'd love to tell you it's been easy, that would be a lie.  Marriage is hard work.  Then you throw kids into the mix, and things get even trickier.  But if we had gone into this marriage covenant with the belief that if things get too difficult, we could always just walk away-- then I suppose we might have opted-out many times before now.  But, we both knew that this was a life commitment, and because of that, we decided to work through some hard times rather than packing our bags and calling it quits.

Before we got married, my then-boyfriend and I discussed the two "unforgivable sins".  These are not necessarily Biblical, but for us these were the two issues that we might have had trouble working through and healing from.  They were:  Infidelity, and physical abuse (of each other or our children).  We decided we could work through anything else, and unless we were faced with the Big Two, we never had a reason to use the "D" word.  This included money issues and family on one side who (believe it or not) actually desired to break us up.  We weathered some big storms, and because of that we are no longer shiny and new like in the dating years, but stronger and much more resilient.

I'm grateful that I married my husband almost 20 years ago.  He still has the one set of arms in which I feel the absolute safest.  He loves me in a way that I know is real and complete.  Yes, we drive each other crazy at times.  Yes, like most couples, we argue over somewhat silly stuff.  (Yes, he does realize I'm mostly right--which alone makes him a keeper!) But seriously... we have decided to remain together.  In good times and in bad.  In sickness and in health.  We've had all four of those during the last 20 years!!

While I didn't say the words, "OBEY" in my vows, I DO love him more today than I did all those years ago standing in front of our friends and family vowing to love him 'til death do us part.  Hmmm...wait. "Deeper" might be the more accurate word.  Yes, over the years we've just learned to love more deeply.  In spite of our weaknesses, faults, and excessive baggage we still choose each other.  Most days.  (Hey, I had to add a little humor to the end...)

My Place is To Love...

What are you to do when someone you dearly love is continually manipulated by their own extended family members?  When they are hurt time and time again by actions, words, and innuendos that are so self serving that it's obvious to you , but perhaps not so clearly to your loved one?  Perhaps they struggle with the idea that anyone means what they actually say.  There is not always a hidden message tucked neatly away so as to be able to deny devious implications, should they be called out on them. 

I have learned that some battles are not mine to fight.  But the messes that these battles cause are mine to sop up.  The pieces of the broken heart they so masterfully destroy are mine to mend back together.  It's not fair to the person I love--or to me.  It's not fair that people who tell your loved one, to his face, that they love him will continue to make everything in life about themselves--about their needs--and about their desires, always at his expense.  It's not fair, but I've learned that it just IS their way.  Their ways are passive aggressive.  Their ways are unfortunately destructive. 

I pray that God gives me the grace to reach yet another state of forgiveness towards them.  Right now I am stumbling to find it.  Right now all I want to do is protect my loved one. Stand in front of him and take them on because I can see them for who they really are.  But... I can not. It is not my place.  

My place is beside him; to simply and completely love him.  

Trusting God--Not Well-Meaning Friends-- in Educating My Children

There appears to be three sides to the education debate: public, private and home school.  Those are the options.  I knew this going in, but what I wasn't aware of is that many who "play" for each of these teams are strongly opposed to any other option other than the one they have chosen for their own child.  While I respect all parents and the struggles we must go through to decide what's best for our child's needs-- is it really fair to bash someone's decision based on our own bias?

For three years I have followed what I clearly thought was God's direction in educating my children at home.  I never gave birth knowing this was the way things were going to fall into place-- in fact just the opposite.  Home schooling was too big for me to even think about pursuing!  I wasn't smart enough, I didn't have enough patience, and honestly-- I didn't want to do it.  God has a sense of humor...

I was called into this new vocation of teaching my kids at home, and at the end of each year I would pray about the coming year.  "Lord, is this still what you want me to do?"  For three years the answer was an unequivocal, "Yes!"  And I was obedient to this calling.  In it my children have flourished and gained what they have needed from homeschooling: education that fits their learning styles, confidence, calmness, and above all else a sense of values and unconditional love.  I won't deny that I also got a lot from this experience.  It was tough, and many mornings I would wake up not wanting to "teach", but I saw the growth happening inside my children, so I plugged on...

This year we have moved across the country for many personal reasons.  One of those reasons was education for both children.  My oldest who will be finishing up middle school this year has high school and all the wonderful experiences of those four years to look forward to.  My youngest, who is an extrovert and also diagnosed with ASD, is going into third grade, voicing a desire to go to "real" school.  But his needs are such that just any school wouldn't do.  A lot of time and research went into figuring out what was best for both kids-- knowing that God needed to first release me from the call to homeschool before we could pursue other options.  After a lot of prayer, and getting those mini-miracles that happen when things simply fall into place after I heard what I thought was God speaking to me, we have chosen two great schools for the kids to attend next year!

Full of excitement I shared this news with some home schooling friends.  You know, the friends who would get the whole "God gave me a message" thing...  And to my dismay I received some rather hurtful words in return.  In other words I was failing my kids by putting them back into traditional school.  Wow!  That was a shocker.  Not that I bought into that thought process, but that these people were acting EXACTLY like the people (even some relatives) that scoffed at the homeschooling idea three years ago!  How alike we are in our justification of meanness.  Hmmm

Parents be encouraged that God will speak to your heart on matters such as this.  I believe that He is the Master Planner--not us.  Every child is different, and every need will be met in a different way.  Trust that He will lead you in the direction that is best for your family, their needs, and work within your own limitations and abilities.  When others on the opposing education teams (or well meaning relatives) blast you for your "self-righteous" decisions, remember above all else, trust Him.

VeggieTales' LIVE! Sing Yourself Silly AND A Chance to WIN a Copy Here!

JUST RELEASED to DVD!!

My copy of VeggieTales LIVE Sing Yourself Silly hit our front porch last Saturday afternoon just as we were about to leave our home for a 30 minute drive into Nashville. My youngest son literally grabbed the unopened DVD and begged us to let him watch it in the car. Of course we obliged!--It's VeggieTales! What a fun time he had singing along to his favorite VeggieTales' songs while watching this show from the comfort of the backseat! He's since watched it non-stop about 500 times (you know...give or take).


Introducing the first-ever Veggie Tales Live! DVD based on their successful touring stage show! Veggie Tales Live! Sing Yourself Silly showcases 18 of the most classic and popular Veggie Tales songs performed live on stage including “His Cheeseburger,” “Love My Lips!,” “The Hairbrush Song,” plus a few hits from the 80’s that both parents and kids will enjoy. There are also several fun and family-friendly bonus features included such as a peek behind the curtain on “Larry’s Backstage Pass.”

Includes The Songs: 
“VeggieTales Theme Song” 
"The Water Buffalo Song” 
"Big Things Too" 
"Gourds Just Wanna Have Fun" 
"Song of the Cebu" 
"Dance of the Cucumber" 
"God is Bigger" 
"His Cheeseburger" 
"Love My Lips!" 
"The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything" 
"Do the Moo, Shoo" 
"Rumor Weed" 
"Endangered Love" (Barbara Manatee) 
"Bellybutton" 
"Footloose" 
"The Hairbrush Song" 
"I Can Be Your Friend" 
"VeggieTales Theme Song (Reprise) 
Bonus Features: 
Larry’s Backstage Pass – Behind the scenes of VeggieTales Live! 
VeggieTales Trivia Game 
Discussion Guide 
Silly Song Sing-Alongs (4 songs)

BUY IT TODAY!!
The DVD releases today, June 7, but you can also order VeggieTales' Sing Yourself Silly at Amazon.com for the great low price of $11.99. 


OR


WIN IT --HERE !!
I've been given an additional copy of VeggieTales' LIVE to give out to one of my readers!  Enter for your chance to win!  Simply go to the comments section under this post and tell me what your FAVORITE Silly Song is!  Winner will be chosen randomly...probably because I love ALL the Silly Songs and can't choose JUST one! 
Winner will be announced Friday, June 10.  

Disclosure: I received a copy of VeggieTales'' LIVE Sing Yourself Silly for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Opinions on this blog, as always, are my own. LS

We're Moving On Up...

Today is the day!  Today Dave and I sign the building contract to start construction on our new home here in Franklin, TN.  


While I hate leasing for the most part, it had its comfort in that if we decided to go back home to CA at the end of 16 months, it was no harm no foul.  It would be a costly adventure, but we could return to life as we knew it.  During this whole moving scenario, we have trusted God.  Even during times when it didn't make logical sense-- we trusted and moved forward.  Even when it seemed silly to move all the way to Tennessee when Colorado was waaayyy closer and just as appealing...we moved forward.  And here we are at these crossroads.  Again.  


After a lot of prayer, a few panic attacks, some counsel and a glass or two of good red, we are staking roots in the Volunteer State of Tennessee.  It's really real!


Wish us luck...say a prayer... send cash...(ok, no cash), but definitely say a prayer or two.  This is big, and we think this is where God wants us to be at this moment in time.

Mom Sense and Nonsense

This mom thing is NOT for wimps!  I'm sitting here keeping an eye on my son, who has just taken his first dose of an antibiotic that comes with a long list of warnings.  You may be wondering why any sane woman would allow her child to ingest such a substance?!  Well, we have done all the tests and have a diagnosis of chronic sinusitis.  This may be caused by three things: virus, allergy and bacteria.  Since we know he has allergies, we want to assume that it's just allergy related.  But the doctor has told us--NO--we must cover our bases.

Now, if you know me at all, you know that I don't trust doctors at first.  They earn my trust.  Right now we are in a new place where I'm still getting to know these doctors.  So, no...not a lot of trust on my part.  Did I mention I used to work with doctors?  Yep!  This is not an unfounded trust issue thing---believe me.

I'm sitting here waiting the appropriate 30 minutes to make sure there aren't any huge, anaphylactic reactions, knowing full well that something like that can actually take up to 2 hours.  But the first 30 minutes are crucial.  So here I wait-- with my egg timer clicking away the minutes.  Writing is good therapy too.  As is calling upstairs to my son every three minutes, "Are you ok?"

Men age gracefully.  It's true.  But the worry we moms go through (the list is too extensive...) from the birth of our children until...  Until? Until when?  Will we ever stop worrying, even when they're grown and married and have children of their own?  No, I guess not. Wait, I lost my train of thought.  I was saying something about aging.  Maybe it was about forgetfulness? No I'm sure it was about aging.  I'm sure it had something to do with the necessary dying of hair, and use of wrinkle creams.  Worry causes aging, you know.  (Where DID I put those dentures again??)

The egg timer just went off, and my son has not developed a third eye or lost an appendage.  Life is good.  Until the next time.

Man I'm such a wimp! No, wait...

To the Determined Advocates Who Are Also Called MOTHER

As the mother of a son who has autism, this poem made my heart sing!  It's a day late-- but in our world, where advocacy for our children is OUR daily business-- Mother's Day is anyday that you see a sparkle in the eyes of your child!  If you are blessed to know a child with a special need, please pass this poem on to their mother.  Happy Mother's Day, mamas!  Be encouaged and be blessed!!

To All The Mothers

By Meshell Baylor

My mother loves me unconditionally.
Even though I repeat the same old things.
My mother loves me so well you see.
She's patient when I cannot be.
She doesn't mind me pacing back and forth.
She doesn't mind the jibberish.

When I am frustrated beyond my means.
She sings, Don't worry the storm is over."
When I feel no one understands,
Mom is there to hold my hand.
To all the parents around the words whose
journey seems like this.
We know that you love us dearly.
But having you in our lives makes us blessed.